Homeland Security

I feel so much safer knowing that my cat shares my sentiments.

Oh yeah, she went at that thing for a good 30 mins.  I eventually took it away...but I think she can go at it indefinitely.

I'd be so scared if I was smaller than her.

A thousand words

23:53 update: She knows what the litterbox is for!!!  Wooray!

Solanum mammosum

Please, please make a rap song out of this. Sol-anum mammo-sum. Otherwise known as Nipplefruit, Titty fruit, Cow's Udder, or "apple of Sodom."

Oh wikipedia. I love you for adding, "it is imported to Taiwan for use as a religious offering." And then offer no explanation. What are we? Titty worshippers? Oh wait, that's not a bad summary of pervy Taiwanese teenagers...

I'm at work so I can't upload the picture I took on my phone. But titty fruit looks absolutely awesome as an Ox year decoration. Please google or wait until I upload some pics.

Shiver, fireworks, and heartache

Joanna Wang.  Just give her a try.  She sent shivers, the good kind, down my back.  Like the first time you heard Norah Jones, Amos Lee, or Lisa Ono, her voice is here to stay.  

It is officially Chinese New Year and fireworks are going off everywhere.  I remember buying illegal fireworks from ancient, tiny, chinese toy stores.  And then the middle school across the street became our playground.  On their soccer field, we blew a million dragon bazookas to welcome the new year.  

This year, I miss my brother.  After all these years of traveling and visiting him sporadically, I find that, more than anything, I want him to relieve himself of the artificial burden and stress of being the eldest male offspring.  It's so subtle, but it drives you insane.  If my life is characterized by desperate measures driven by irresponsibility, then his life is nothing but inevitable decisions forced by responsibility.  My parents have told me that he thinks I have better luck.  I want to tell him, it's not luck.  But if you can't measure the forces that shape us, then call it luck.  I just don't ever want him to think "and that was the story of my life" with nothing but regret in his thoughts.  

My parents claim that they know how proud he is and what drives him.  What if that's not the way to goad him?  What if it is?  You can count the number of crossroads that we have to face, but we don't need someone acting as the countdown timer.  It's informative, yes, but if he wants to cross on a red light, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

My life for...

Reading the news in Asia is very entertaining. Today, the headline read: "Mr. Chu has direct clandestine connection to Obama." Mr. Chu is Taiwan's treasury secretary and the article mentioned Larry Summers, President Obama's top economic advisor. Then, the reporter built the story on how Mr. Summers once visited Taiwan, thirteen years ago, and played tennis with Mr. Chu.

And guess what the article said about Mr. Summer's impression of Taiwan? He thought that we're inconsistent at playing tennis. All because Mr. Chu had sent Taiwan's top tennis player to coddle him. Mr. Summers said, "He kept missing my easy serves and saving my impossible shots."

Yes, this is how the reporter in Taiwan thinks we have a direct connection to the Obama administration. Mr. Chu's ever so brilliant decision to manage Mr. Summer's love for tennis paved the path to a beautiful economic relationship with Taiwan and the US.

Mr. Maa, please start practice missing your jump shot. Or at least get someone in the NBA. China already has Yao and Yi...and I'm sure if they play Obama, they're ready to lose for the greater good.

Have I told you lately...

That the Japanese service industry deserves a gold medal?

After calling Hanover, Zaragoza, and Tokyo, guess which country provided the most helpful data to me?

This is a sample email:

"Dear James-san,

Please find attached hotel occupancy rates and total number of guests for hotels in Nagoya City before and after the 2005 Aichi Expo as requested over the phone. I hope this will be of help.

Emiko Iwasa
Japan Hotel Association"


She had me at James-san. I kinda feel bad that I'm helplessly stealing from their gaming industry (translation: Chinese pirates are absolutely without scruples.) BUT, I promise to own a house there one day.



Yes, that's the house I'm going to own. Also, are there any architecture firms out there that only focuses on modernizing ancient designs? So we can have eco friendly optic fiber shogun command centers? There is definitely a market for that.

Mascots are funny

Busy day today, working on our World Expo proposal. But while I was researching past expos, this is what Germany used to describe their mascot in 2000.

"The Expo 2008 mascot was Fluvi, a little male drop of water. With his best friend Ica, the smallest drop of water, and Nico and Laurita, he will fight against the pollution made by Sec and Raspa, the evil Negas."

Fluvi and Ica

I laughed so hard...