Wrath of the Workplace

If I closed my eyes today, I would feel like a very small fish being carried every which way by the unstoppable current.  The current that is the Shanghainese workforce.  Amazingly enough, the experience didn't feel invasive.  Besides rugby, I've never had to place my body willingly around so many other human beings.  Even concerts don't get this crowded.  But everyone was so civil about it.  If you crashd into someone, it was expected.  If you had to plow a clear path to exit, it was expected.  In any other circumstance, it might be considered rude.  But like in rugby, pretty much anything goes.

So I showed up at the regional office and it was a pretty stylish office.  I've started to notice that about hotel groups in Asia.  If you're a five star hotel, you really had to earn your stars.  The lobby has to feel grandiose and every detail NEEDS to feel like you threw obscene amounts of money away for it to happen.  Cheap labor probably has a lot to do with it.

*side story* I was at KFC and there were cleaning ladies everywhere.  Their "thank you" was so sincere when I placed my own trash and tray away.

Afterwards, I went to the actual property where I'm going to work.  The Four Points & Sheraton Pudong.  Here is where all my discoveries happened today.  First, they all spoke mandarin to me.  My ruse of a non-mandarin speaker was a bust from the get go.  So much for being sneaky.  However, ALL their documents are written in English!  And their emails are also all written in English!  Yay for not having to learn commie chinese.  

And then came the shocker.  They gave me a uniform!  Apparently, everyone is handed a suit, shirt, socks, tie, and shoe.  Does MIB come to mind?  It certainly did for me.  Oh, what's really cool is that they have a lady who's in charge of all the uniforms.  She took one look at me and gave me a suit and shirt that fit perfectly.  And then the locker room.  Man, I know it's common everywhere, but I still find it a little shocking when people strip naked in front of you.

After the transformation into Sheraton Grunt #15921690707, I was herded upstairs, where everyone was supposedly waiting for me.  Apparently, the entire reservations department knew of my arrival and were all eager to meet me.  Remember when you had to stand in front of the classroom and introduce yourself?  Yeah...

"I'm James and I just came from working at the W hotel in NY after graduating from Penn State University.  Hello everyone."

"Ooooh..."  "Ahhh...." *giggle*

The smiles on their face looked like they wanted to sell me to slavery.

Well, then I met my mentor and we had lunch.  It's very customary here to tell people where you live, your age, your weight, your marital status, your income, and your political stance.  Craziness.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly, sprinkled with a couple of meetings and reports.  Chinese coworkers live up to their reputation of being amazingly gossipy.  They knew EVERYONE's background and they were openly discussing each other while they're in the same room. 

"That sales manager is half Japanese and half Taiwanese."

"Oh yeah, she speaks three languages fluently."

"No she doesn't!"

"Oh, you need to be more tolerant."

"But the way she uses certain words is just confusing!"

Meanwhile, said person is no more than 3 meters away.  Huh.

Anyway, after another wonderful ride home (read: sardines in a can has a one up on me), I'm going to crash at the super healthy hour of 11.

This week is going to be...challenging.